Family Bonding

Watching my family communicate on this trip is like watching a group of senior citizens at a swap meet with walkie talkies. If you've never witnessed this phenomenon, take a trip to Quartzsite, AZ in January. The city is overrun with "snowbirds", those that come from the colder states such as Minnesota and Montana and camp out in the desert through the winter. They spread out through city with their RV's, trailers and tents, half of them selling things like rocks, tools, jewelry and other treasures (crap) and the other half shop them. It's not unusual to see a senior citizen going down the aisles on a riding ice chest or a woman in a sequined sun visor pushing her dog in a custom made stroller. Every so often you'll see one of them hit the w

alkie talkie, "We've got quartz on the aisle with the BBQ corn!" of course the inevitable reply... "Where's the BBQ corn?"... or perhaps "Switch to channel 10 I can't here you" "Ten Four". Yes they actually say ten four.

In the instance of my family it's mostly my mom trying to give advice and be helpful, but a lot of the time it just serves to confuse my dad whose doing his best to keep us on the road and headed in the right direction. The problem is if my mom points out something that my dad already knows then he's annoyed. Yet if she hadn't pointed it out and he hadn't already realized it then they're both annoyed. Of course it doesn't help matters that my brother and I occasionally try to help clear up the confusion and usually just make it worse. Nope best to stay silent unless asked for input.

Other than that we're all doing well. Dad is almost in his relaxed state... meaning he only checks his emails about 10 times a day and is restraining himself from calling in to the office. He has taken a sabbatical from his usual break-neck pace and is in no real hurry. I'm sure it hurts his soul a little when he realized we've only gone about 150 miles in a day. He and Geoff have been troopers where the trailer is concerned. I'm sure hooking up sewer hoses is not as glamorous as most would imagine but they do it without complaining day in and day out. Mom has taken over in the reservation department making sure we are staying in one beautiful campground after another. At the moment we are sitting in a beautiful valley in Montana surrounded by amber waves of grain... seriously... and three senior citizens in a tent trailer who are walking around in flannel pajamas. It's better than the lady at the last campground who forgot to close the window of her tent last night and apparently likes to sleep in the nude.

People in this part of the country are ridiculously kind. I'm still getting used to people waving at you for no particular reason and today I even left my laptop out on the picnic table outside our trailer with only a brief thought that someone might steal it. This thought was quickly dismissed as I eyed the senior citizens next door. I thought one might have been staring at it enviously though I doubt they could see that far. Today I walked into a place I thought was an internet cafe and actually turned out to be a place that sells internet modems, when I asked if it was possible to send an email the guy said sure you can use my computer. He didn't even charge me anything!

Yesterday was spent helping Geoff set up his new apartment. I got to set up the kitchen, an activity I actually love doing. I believe I might have a slight case of OCD when it comes to organizing kitchen cabinets. I turn the soup can labels the same way and make sure the lazy susan holding the pots has a large enough turn radius to access the lids. We found out exactly how thin the walls were... still hoping it was someone practicing their pogo stick routine. I also convinced Mom that black out curtains for the living room are a must. It was difficult to explain how I knew the importance with out self incrimination but I got the point across. I am now reassured that he and his room mate Mike will be well prepared for their upcoming year.

Speed Play

I'm currently on day 1.5 of my summer camping trip with my family, I say 1.5 because after attempting this trip 6 days ago and losing an entire axle of our trailer on the 15 freeway we had to turn back. We left again as soon as the axle was fixed which happened to be about eight o'clock last night. We didn't get very far of course so we pulled into the parking lot of the outlet mall at the state line between California and Nevada around midnight. Mom of course was mortified at our "redneck nature" and was convinced a security guard would ask us to leave, I reassured her that it was ok to be redneck because Williams and Sonoma was having they're annual summer sale and we would be there when the store opened.

I’ve been feeling guilty lately because I haven’t been running or exercising as much as I’d like. I have been going crazy trying to get as much of my work done as possible so I didn’t have to do it on the trip. So tonight we pulled into a beautiful campground and I pulled on my sneakers and took off down the first path I saw. Usually when I run it’s down the same old streets I’ve driven a thousand times before so I distract myself with music in hopes of cutting some of the boredom. Tonight I didn’t even know where the trail would go or how far. I just ran. Turns out I forgot about the change in altitude here in Utah so I wasn’t able to run the whole time, but when I could run I felt like a kid again. I was jumping off sand banks and avoiding rocks and swerving back and forth. Then when I couldn’t run anymore I walked and enjoyed the beautiful scenery and the sunset.

There’s a training program called Fartleks which means "speed play" in Swedish. It’s basically when runners run hard when they feel like it and ease off when they need to with out regard to a set plan. I think speed play is the most apt description for the activity because it takes all the stress and worry out of running and turns running into play. Running for the joy of the moment is an easy way to feel like a kid again.

The Fork in the Road... Or Is It?

Ok so I'm gonna go off on a bit of a tangent here... hopefully I can translate my thoughts into words well enough to make my point.

For those of you who don't know me (I have a feeling there's very few people who read this that don't already know me) I will be leaving California to go to grad school in September. While I'm really excited about this I'm also slightly terrified. The thought of living 1500 miles away from my family and friends and all that I hold dear is something I can only handle if I think about it in small doses. Unfortunately, think about it I must, for that is who I am. This has made me start thinking about paths. I found my self contemplating two possible paths. One path was me staying in California and moving in with one of my best friends and working in a bakery, the second path was of course grad school and moving to Seattle. I felt as though I was standing at a fork in the road and "as way leads on to way" that made me think of Robert Frosts iconic poem.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Most people believe this poem is about choosing the path of non conformity or the path less traveled. They would be wrong... mostly because they only pay attention to the last verse. In actuality Robert Frost is saying that both paths were the same, " Then took the other, as just as fair, and having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there, had worn them really about the same. And both that morning equally lay, in leaves no step had trodden black." The last verse actually refers to a time in the future when he will tell others the story of his life and make it seem like he chose the path that was least traveled.

This whole process got me thinking about paths themselves. The interesting thing about paths is that they don't exist until someone makes them. Therefore it is impossible to stand at a fork of two life paths... they haven't been made yet. You may think that the path is clearly laid out in front of you, all you have to do is pick. In actuality you have to cut the path itself. A path only exists in your past and only then is it possible to look back and see it clearly.

So how do we cut that path? Before the days of GPS, trailblazers used the cues of nature to find their way. The position of the sun as it crossed the sky, the placement of the stars, the sound of running water. They found their way through obstacles using the only things they knew for certain. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west, polaris would take them north and the river would quench their thirst and provide vegetation. As we grow and evolve we begin to know things with certainty. We learn our strengths and weaknesses, we know that family and friends will catch us when we fall, we learn to savor every moment and above all we know the importance of continuously evolving. If we hold on to what we can count on we become capable of navigating the unknown.

Peace Be the Journey

There's an article in this months edition of Runners World about a man named Tommy Leonard who is best known for organizing the Falmouth Road Race in Falmouth Massachusetts. This article is six pages long and chronicles his life from the age of six till now... the pages are filled with facts about all the races he's organized as well as all the bars he's tended from Massachusetts to CA. Through it all it becomes apparent that this man had two love affairs ... running and beer. One story in particular stands out... he was running the 1986 Houston marathon at a sub 3 hour pace, unfortunately at mile 23 Pro's Bar came into view and he stopped to have a pint. Turns out he finished the beer, but not the race. When Tommy wasn't running he was tending bar... you would think he excelled at this but no. His boss Michael Cleary, of the Cork 'N Hearth says, "He truly was the worst bar tender in the world... You order dinner at the bar, you might get dessert first, then an entree, then the salad if your lucky. But that's because he was always in the middle of a story."

One such story includes the time that his buddy Eddie Burke threw him a surprise party which included bringing a police horse up to the bar. Tommy says, "That horse went up and down the bar and acknowledged every customer. I fed him one or two White Russians. Then some lady at the bar called the Health Department and we had to get him the hell out of there fast, which wasn't easy... But that horse, he was having such a good time he didn't want to leave." The party was thrown in gratitude for Tommy's constant fundraising. He started the "Friends of Eliot Fund" where he collected cash from regulars when he read about misfortunes in the newspaper.

If you read between the lines it's obvious that Tommy's third and fourth love are people and life in general. To most of us the idea of getting so close to the finish line of a marathon after so much training and then just stopping for a beer is ludicrous and unfathomable. But it seems to me that Tommy has a different finish line in mind. His life is a race and he recognizes the need to enjoy the journey. As long as he's doing what he loves he's happy... artificial finish lines be damned. Often times we put so much emphasis on the completion of an activity and forget to focus on the joy of the act. It's almost as if the lack of fruition diminishes the greatness of the journey. Hopefully when Tommy looks back on his life he doesn't say, "Man I wish I'd finished that one race....He says what a run." We should all be so lucky.

Delusions of Grandeur... They'll Kill You Every Time

I have to admit i've had trouble writing/blogging lately. I kept starting posts and quickly got discouraged because I wasn't happy with the words on the page. I'd give it a few more tries and then delete the whole thing altogether. The problem I believe was building delusions of grandeur.

There are a few blogs that I read religiously ... Tina at CarrotsnCake, Sarah at Sarahfit, Morgan at Runningbums, and Megan at Emsiepilove. These blogs are amazing and my inspiration to start a blog in the first place. However, trying to measure up to them and still be me is a bit overwhelming. Luckily my blogs were well received... even if it was mostly by friends and family. I started thinking well maybe one day I could make a career out of this as Tina and Sarah have done, this is right around the time that the fitblogger convention happened and these two started writing blogs about how to make blogging a full time job. Suddenly I was second guessing every word of every sentence. I was wondering what I should focus my blog on, what would people want to read about rather then what I wanted to focus on and what I wanted to write about. Big mistake!

I started keeping a journal last year on my trip through Europe. At first it was just a way to document the daily happenings of our trip, however it quickly become an outlet for all the thoughts I was having that kept swirling around in my head. It was much easier to move onto the next thought if I wrote down the first one and could stop pondering it. It was also easier to solve my problems once I got them down on paper. My blog was just a natural extension of that, my posts were just thoughts that I couldn't stop thinking about and needed to expand upon.

I want to continue to make that the focus of my blog... but that doesn't mean that's all I can write about. I'm officially giving myself permission to write about whatever the hell I feel like. It's beyond me why I feel the need to give myself permission in the first place... but i'm odd and I accept that.

Monday Monday... So good to me!

This is the follow up to my half marathon weekend post. Monday needed a post all on it's own.

Do you ever have one of those days where everything just falls into place? This was one of those days. The morning started off with a raid of clothes that Morgan was giving away... new running clothes??? Yes please! Then we headed of to the adorable Pannikin for coffee, muffins, cinnamon rolls and carrot cake... yeah yeah I know not exactly healthy but we couldn't decide!

The crazy part was when we parked in front of Pannikin I looked up and the shopping center in front of me looked really familiar with its cute little yellow buildings and I knew I'd seen it before. Turns out I'd seen it in pictures from numerous Google searches. One of the stores was DeepFling... a store that specializes in Scandinavian clothes and jewelry. I had been wanting to go there for months because they carry the jewelry line from Sweden that Carly and I fell in love with on our trip. We were sad to find that it didn't open for another hour but it turned out to be fortuitous because Morgan joined us for breakfast half way through when she was done with her workout and we all trouped over there afterword. Carly decided to buy herself a graduation present.

Or maybe a couple graduation presents... Then we said good bye to Morgan and got in the car and Carly points to this tattoo parlor in front of us and says, "That's where I almost got my nose pierced." I told her that I had been considering getting a tattoo for a while now and that I had promised myself if I finished the race I would finally get it. Before I knew it she was on the phone asking Morgan if it was a good place for tattoos and Morgan was flipping a u-turn.

I had decided long ago that I would get the word Balance on my wrist. When the tattoo guy asked me why I was getting it I told him it represented my life over the past year. I explained that I had spent the last four years almost completely focused on academia which led to a fairly sedentary life with no time for anything else like I don't know ... exercise. This year had been all about seeking a life of balance. I didn't wan't to be focused on any one thing. I think it can best be summed up by the Einstein quote, "Life is like riding a bicycle, one can only move forward with balance." He also asked about the race and the reasons why I run which I could repeat but Morgan does it so much better in her blog soo... http://runningbums.blogspot.com/2011/06/its-not-about-performance-its-about.html.

The actual process of getting the tattoo was much more painful then I anticipated. Apparently the wrist is one of the most painful spots to get a tattoo. I probably should have figured that out before hand huh? Oh well. Luckily I had Carly to hold my hand through it all and Morgan to document the experience. Don't you think this girl should go into photo journalism?

Over a week has gone by and I'm still ecstatic about it. Not only is it a daily reminder to seek balance whether that be between exercising and my ever present need to eat cake or between enjoying things that are safe and comforting while still remembering the reward that comes from pushing myself out of my comfort zone and trying new things. It's also a reminder of this amazing weekend that I got to spend with wonderful people doing something I never thought I could.

I Can See for Miles and Miles

I'm finally getting a chance to sit down and write about my marathon weekend or half marathon to be more precise. I wish I would have written about it sooner as all the thoughts and experiences would have been fresh in my mind, but this week has been crazy busy. I have to say I was scared of this race, scared that I wouldn't be able to finish. Luckily I had a team of motivators telling me I'd be ok... that I'd make it. I also knew that if I didn't at least try I'd regret it.

So Friday I drove down to San Diego to pick up all my race stuff and got to spend the day with my cousin Mike, his wife Magdalene, and their daughter Emma. Mike ran the full and Meg ran the half with me. It was an eye opening day of vendors selling shirts with slogans like, "If you see me pass out please turn off my Garmin" and "In my dreams I'm Kenyan". I also saw every possible protein bar and GU flavor imaginable. I got to meet the famous Josh Cox, a runner whom I'd only learned about a week earlier.

The real treat of the day was having lunch at the Stone Brewery in Escondido. Lunch was delicious with tofu stir-fry and jalapeno hummus, the beer was even better of course. I got the Stone IPA and it was amazing. Even got a souvenir t-shirt!

Saturday was the day of burritos! I have to say one of my favorite parts of running is now carbo loading... I had one burrito from Taco Factory for lunch and another from Chipotle on my way down to San Diego after I picked up my friend Carly from Riverside. Carly and I were staying with her sister Morgan and Morgan's boyfriend Sergio. Both Morgan and Sergio are elite runners and over the weekend I got an introduction into their world. The ride down to SD included a warning session from Carly on what to expect. The most memorable sentence was, " oh and they sleep in a tent so there's a slight hum from the generator". Huh??? Apparently, some elite athletes utilize an oxygen tent to simulate the effects of living in a high altitude environment. Morgan says, "Yeah, all I had to do was sell my car." This was just the beginning of the crazy. They're room is also covered in at least 50 pairs of running shoes in every color imaginable... good thing they work in a running shoe store huh?

Sunday morning we "woke up" at around 4 am. I never actually fell asleep so waking up at that god awful hour wasn't all that difficult. Sergio drove us to the race, with Morgan blasting European techno from the passenger seat. I'm not sure this was motivational but it made us laugh and took my mind off my worries and doubts. The perks of knowing elite runners is you get the VIP treatment, especially if your driver is last years half marathon winner. So we got to avoid having to find a place to park and needing to take shuttles to the starting line. I also got to hang out in the VIP area before the race... that's right... VIP access to the porta-potties. After that I went to find Meg so we could find our corral where we waited for our turn to start, in a race of over 32,000 you can't all start at once.

When we finally got started I actually felt really good and was able to run for about three miles before needing to walk. It was awesome to have so many people cheering on the side of the road and there was bands playing every mile or so. Plus I had Megan next to me who somehow had the ability to talk, sing, dance, and yell while still running. We had to split up around mile 5 for a bathroom break and after that I was alone. I had a few brief conversations with those around me, a lady in her 60's was worried she wasn't gonna make it but she was giving it all she had. Around mile 6 my foot that I'd injured two weeks earlier really started to ache and I started praying that it wouldn't get any worse. Luckily I came upon a Medical tent not too long after that and got some Tylenol. What a godsend! I have to say I actually teared up when I finally saw that 12 mile marker and then out of no where I spot Carly in the crowd and she jumps off the curb to run the last mile with me. We came across Magdalene shortly after that whose knee had locked up a mile back and had been walking. We toughed it out and ran the last .1 mile and crossed the finish line with our hands raised and smiles on our faces in 2:48.

After the race was more VIP treatment, and meeting up with Mike who finished the full in 4:20 and then it was time for a shower, yet another burrito (this time a Jamaican veggie burrito from Mozy's in Enscinitas) and then 3 hours laying on a beautiful beach with Carly doing nothing but getting burnt and trying erase the lovely sports bra and capri tan I acquired that morning. It was truly an amazing weekend and I'm so glad I decided to run it. I can't begin to describe how grateful I am to Mike, Meg, Carly, Morgan and Sergio for all the help and motivation over the past few weeks. I'm sure this will not be my last race and i'm looking forward to future half marathons and maybe even a full some day but I know I'll never forget how special this first one was.